Trying to have fun w/ music production again.
I still get the hyperfixations when I do it right but the windows of opportunity have narrowed over the past ??? months.
I think school played a role somewhat, but I also think the downside of having music production/djing as a career is that you get
caught up in what you're not doing enough of, what you are not doing the right way; or how you're not as far along
as this guy or that fucking guy so you should be spinning or releasing more consistently.
(I don't know why I even think about these things to begin with b/c when have I ever had a work pattern that wasn't erratic??? Why care at this point.)
So as I work on a track I am trying to remember how I felt, how I approached my music, why I enjoyed doing it in the first place. Not trying to think
about how others might perceive it (not that that really stops me for very long I guess), how techniques(???) sound etc.
I remember the reason why I enjoyed music production in the first place. It felt like a puzzle you made real time to actively solve.
The joy of figuring out and overcoming the challenge. The joy of learning new avenues to add more substance and spice to your mixes.
That excitement went away somewhere.?
I think burnout also contributed, because when I look within to try to find that spark to learn I only feel tired.
I'm trying to get in that bubble again. I think I am almost there again.
Something feels different again I think.